Mid-Year Angst

Hello!

When July came upon us, I experienced a kind of angst – the year is half-over, and as I write this, July is more than half-over.

As we get older, time seems to take on wings. I heard it explained this way: to a four-year-old, one year is 1/4 of his life, to a twenty-year-old, one year is 1/20th of her life, and to a sixty-year-old, one year is 1/60th of her life. No wonder a year flies by. It is but a small fraction of my life.

While I was contemplating the fact that we have begun the second half of the year, the following came to me, written July 2, 2019.

JULY

The curtain falls on the first half, then rises immediately on the second. No intermission. No time for relief, to catch one’s breath.

On the stage for the first half: events, hindrances, appointments, meetings, studies, time spent idle, and redemptively, time spent with loved ones.

On the stage for the second: not the same, oh please, Lord, not the same.
Let the latter half be far better than the first.

Please, let me taste of the fruit of the tree of life.
Let my horizons expand in the heat of summer,
so when the cooler climes of autumn awaken me once more to the reality of winter,
My tongue will have been the pen of a ready writer and my creativity will warm both me and others.

And when the curtain falls on the second half, then rises immediately on the future, let there be no remorse, no regret; only the dawn and hope of another year.

Is there anything over which you are feeling some angst? I urge you to journal it, turn it into prose, poetry, music, dance or artwork. You will find release, and perhaps even some humour as you explore what you’re capable of creating.

Until next time,

Affectionately,

Penny

A Penny-wise thought…Divorce

I don’t mean divorce in the usual sense of the word. Not divorce between two people. I would that two people, when they say their vows to each other, would remain life-long friends, lovers, and soul-mates.

Are we married to a habit that is costing us too much, both financially and emotionally? Are we closely bound to something that is having a negative impact on our life? It could be a toxic relationship, or a way of life that is interfering with our overall quality of life.

It’s time to get a divorce! It’s time to distance ourselves from whatever is impeding us. We can say, thus far and no more! We can set firm boundaries! Psalm 104 expresses this in poetic language:

5 You placed the world on its foundation
    so it would never be moved.
⁶You clothed the earth with floods of water,
    water that covered even the mountains.
⁷At your command, the water fled;
    at the sound of your thunder, it hurried away.
⁸Mountains rose and valleys sank
    to the levels you decreed.
⁹Then you set a firm boundary for the seas,
    so they would never again cover the earth.

Perhaps we feel we are trapped forever in whatever situation we find ourselves. Pray for separation, for escape, so that we can live whole lives, lives of peace and comfort. It’s not easy to disentangle ourselves from a destructive pattern. We need support.

Let me cheer you on, as you take steps towards freeing yourself.

As always, comments are welcome.

Affectionately,

Penny

A Penny-wise thought…Reconnoiter

reconnoiter

verb (used with object)

to inspect, observe, or survey the enemy, the enemy’s strength, opposition, a region, etc. in order to gain information for military purposes.

2.
to examine or survey (a region, area, etc.) for engineering, geological, or other purposes.

verb (used without object)

3.
to make a reconnaissance.

Armies on the march need time to rest. Rest is essential. If it’s not part of our routine, our minds and bodies will protest in unmistakeable ways. If we don’t heed the warnings, we will shut down in unexpected ways. Our march forward will be anything but efficient.

This holds true for everyone, whether Bipolar or not, but perhaps especially if one has Bipolar Disorder.

Sometimes the best strategy is to retreat and then attack from a different position. Going backwards to go forwards? Retreating to advance? We may have to go back to square one in order to regain our bearings, collect ourselves, and set out with a renewed purpose and sense of mission. During the course of this exercise, we may come to the realization that this particular battle doesn’t need to be fought at all. We have reconnoitred – surveyed the territory – and come to a decision. Then it’s a matter of informing the troops. If they protest and disagree, well, we are the ones in charge. It is our health and resources that are at stake.

What tactics work in one set of manoeuvres may not work in another. Again, taking time out to reconnoiter may save a great deal of frustration.

There are at least three options. You may think of more.

1. Decide not to proceed.

2. Decide to proceed as planned, fully cognizant of the contingencies involved.

3. Decide to head in a different direction, if that suits the objectives.

What is the objective? To achieve our goals, to enhance our quality of life, to??? you fill in the blank.

What is amazing is that we don’t have to fight our battles alone. We have an awesome Commander-in-Chief who promises to march by our side. At times we don’t have to fight at all, for the victory is the Lord’s.

One of my favourite stories is found in 2 Kings 7. The people of Israel are besieged by the Syrians, who are camped outside the walls of the city. The price of food has gone through the roof. Four lepers decided to surrender themselves to the enemy, in the hopes that their lives may be spared and that they will be fed. If not,well, they were doomed to die anyhow. What happened when they entered the enemy camp? They found a treasure trove of loot and animals, but no enemy! God had caused the enemy to hear the noise of chariots and the noise of horses – the noise of a great army. The enemy ran for their lives. No one struck a single blow! The famine was over. A fine example of God fighting on behalf of His people.

Take time to take stock. Reconnoiter what’s ahead of you. Make an informed choice about next steps. May your march forward be rewarding!

Affectionately,

Penny

Source: reconnoiter. (n.d.). Dictionary.com Unabridged. Retrieved January 31, 2018 from Dictionary.com website http://www.dictionary.com/browse/reconnoiter